The Crazy South-African Website

Well, for those that I haven't managed to keep full contact with, I will give a full update on things in Ass Tralia.

First thing I did when I arrived was I got a bit of plastic surgery done just to make myself fit in the outback a little more. I now look like this:

Apparently, there where supposed to be dangerous wild animals around here. So far, the only ones I have found which I am not afraid to tell about are the chicks. They are as rough and as dangerous as any lion we have back in SA. Of course, they are not nearly as good looking though.

On my first day here, I landed a job working as a sales person in an electrical appliance store. I make shit loads of money which makes getting woman easy as long as you like sagging grannies. I bought a car for $1000 which is about R5000. I had it for a week before I took it over a motocross jump and landed on the bonnet. Needless to say, I didn't drive it home. Which brings me to another point, Australian alcohol holds a bit of a punch. Anyway, I stripped the car, straightened it out with different gadgets and actually got it running for the first time today. I want to buy a new one but I must sell this one first so I make it look pretty good but it drives like shit. The things we do.

I got my bike on about the third day I was here. Of coarse, I bought state of the art parts for it. Free flow etc. It now sounds like a rocket on steroids and rides like on too. It has so much power, I pulled a finger out of joint when I accelerated it up a hill. 0 - 100 on gravel in under 5 seconds. Under 3 on the road if you have road tires on. Naturally, I crashed that on the first weekend and had to get it repaired. It will probably get the best of me some time and I will never race again but you take risks in life so that you can brag to other people and so that the chicks dig you right. I looked at buying a Yamaha R1 but decided against it when I took it for a ride and found out what its like to have a real rocket between you legs. Actually, that sounds much like the girls in this place.

I went out a few times and the last time, I drank so much that half my liver failed. I am now on meds and a special detox program to try and help my liver recover. If anybody cares, I had a bottle of Jack, two six packs of beer and a six pack of vodka and red bull mixes. Mmmm, only thing is, it was in about two hours. If anybody is wondering, I was out drinking two nights after that. Live well you're young is what I say. People say I will regret it when I'm older, I think I will regret it if I don't do it.

I've been out of Pirie two times since I've been here as I work 6 days a week. I've heard though that I'm not missing anything as well, South Australia is a shit hole. I've met some really funny people as my main job at the shop is to set up mobile phone accounts. The farmers who come out are like hillbillies and if they bring the daughters, they always offer alternative forms of payment. Problem is, I don't like getting seconds from kangaroos. Speaking of getting out of Pirie, I went to go watch the Australia vs Namibia world cup match. What a let down, after half time, the score was something like 52 - 0 to Australia, I think it ended on 120 - 0. I passed out before then so, who knows really. The biggest problem with South-Australia is that they all hate rugby so I'm a bit of an outcast in that regard. I will always remain loyal to South-Africa so don't worry.

Speaking of remaining loyal to SA, I still haven't found a beer that matches up to Castle Lager so I emailed Castle and asked them what I could do. They said they had just started exporting to Australia and they sent me three cartons. I thanked them and asked them for a job promoting but they told me not to push my luck. Good for them, I probably would have drank all the beer anyway.

I am making plans to visit SA in August next year. I'm bringing loads of cash so I can make it memorable. I will be informing the right people as more plans come together. It might seem like a long way away but trust me its not. Time is flying as I've found out after still not finishing my course. Ha, I will be finished studying when I come in August. Problem is, with the course I'm doing, it means nothing but hey, at least I can say I'm qualified hey.

Ok, send me emails for support, send me loads of emails and I will try and reply once in a while. I miss you guys, all of you, well, except maybe Sarah but not everyone can get some of me hey. Keep well and continue on to the Photo Gallery. Send me some photos and if you want I will put them up too.

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